He didnt know....

All of a sudden, the world suddenly seemed to be the most beautiful place...he became fully conscious of everything, in its entire beauty...everything was beautiful...the air which he breathed in, gave life to his soul...the rays of the sun striking his body, giving a brief sense of warmth, not getting too hot...the trees seemed to be passing universal secrets to each other, as it sways in the gentle morning breeze...he stood there, alone in the park...he took off his shoes, and let his feet sink lightly into the mildly dewed soil...he closed his eyes, and concentrated all his sensses to the soles of his feet...he was in a world he never knew existed, though it was one in which he had been all his life...so much had he gone through in his life, but never had sensed a sense of calm such as this moment...the world was a very beautiful place in its raw sense...so much have we done to pollute this beautiful earth, with our acts, sins and desires...so adulterated yet pure, the air continues to sustain us...he wondered, was there a god after all? or is this entire architecture manufactured by chance collisions and developments of random particles floating in space...he knelt on the ground and looked up...it was a cloudless sky...just blue, pure blue, and nothing but blue...he was alone in the park...he had always been alone...unknown to him, a drop of tear flowed down from his eyes, up and down the contoured stubbled cheeks, and into the ground, one more deposit into the earth...he felt love in his heart at that moment...love for what, he didnt know...but it was love...he then knew that he didnt want anything else anymore...the sunlight brought more heat now, the trees seemed to have stopped, and he felt all eyes of nature focused on him...he reached into his pocket and took out his latest posession, perhaps his only one...smiling, he put it into his mouth...he was in love...it was all he wanted in this moment...his knees were rooted to the ground...the sky had no cloud anywhere...no clouds meant no silver lining...no silver lining meant no hope...the sky was as clear as his mind...maybe there is a god after all...it didnt make a difference at this time...he closed his eyes, and pulled the trigger... a moment later, there was a slight breeze...the trees started to sway again, singing its hymns to the skies...it was a very beautiful day, as it had been the day before, and as it would be the day after, but that, he didnt know....